I wanna passion pit in your ass
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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