Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
