I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
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