I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
