worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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