Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
