My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
