absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
