I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
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i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
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The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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