i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
