then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
