Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Randomize
