If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize