You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
