I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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