im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PS: I just woke up from my shower
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Randomize