it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
