oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
i've created a new STD.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
