is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
