Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
