What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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