please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
