I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Send help, water and tortillas.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
