I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I just want nice things and good sex
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Randomize
