and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
