are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
