i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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