He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
