I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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