i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
i wish my penis had a tongue
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
