Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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