dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
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