no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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