Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
