no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize