so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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