I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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