my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
