I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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