What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
