my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize