I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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