Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize