whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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