i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize