youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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