last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
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