At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
whose parrot is this?
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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