I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
