So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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