smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
