my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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